Homicidal Love
by fonzi
Summary: Fluff. Fineaus comes aboard the TARDIS.  The Doctor is jealous, but Rose knows something he doesn't about their new guest.  Rose/10


For Mikki, with… love. She picked the title, the story wrote itself.

**Homicidal Love**

Fineaus sat in the corner. He had been waiting for Rose to come back from her 'tea-making' for at least a quarter of an hour. He was somewhat hidden from the Doctor's evil gaze, but he did have a nice view of his wonderfully shaped bum. He wondered why the Doctor hated him so much. It wasn't his fault he was so good looking. That was just the way his species was. They lived to… well… procreate. And if you weren't good looking, you died. Survival of the fittest.

**-Doctor-**

The Doctor was tinkering. With nothing in particular, as usual. From the moment Fineaus had stepped inside the TARDIS, she had refused to tell him anything about the boy. He had heard occasional laughter from her, but nothing else. All at once, her voice came into his head.

_Doctor, you may want to be a bit nicer to this boy. You do know about his species. It's not his fault Rose thinks he's attractive. _

Why would I want to be nice to him if Rose likes him!

_Because he doesn't like her. As simple as that. _

Then why does he keep that annoying smile on his face all the time!

_You are rather daft._

I AM NOT! YOU KNOW I DON'T APPRECIATE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME THAT!

The TARDIS went back to ignoring him. The Doctor wondered why Fineaus would have been shunned from his world, because he had all the appearances of royalty.

**-Rose-**

Rose had stayed in the kitchen much longer than was necessary. She was sick of the waves of dislike that came off the Doctor constantly. He was getting annoying. But it was fun to make him jealous. She knew he thought that she liked Fineaus. Which could be somewhat true, but it wasn't. He was very attractive, but the TARDIS had done her the favor of filling her in on the history of Fineaus' species, and their mating practices. Finally, she decided she had to go back into the console room, and face the music. When she got there, (after taking a few wrong turns and ending up in some places she had never wanted to be) Fineaus was still in the corner, and the Doctor, was, as always, tinkering with some un-pronounceable object.

"The tea is ready boys!" Rose said, hoping to lighten the gloom.

"That's great. Really great." Mumbled the Doctor, motioning for some tea.

"You have to ask nicely." The Doctor mumbled a "please…", and Rose handed him the cup. "Now remember not to spill again, because last time you did that you…" She was cut off by a yelp of pain from the Doctor. He had spilled his tea on the console, and the TARDIS had given him a retaliatory shock. A large one too, by the looks of it. His hair was standing on end.

Rose stifled a laugh, and went over to hand Fineaus some tea.

"Thanks, gorgeous." He said when she gave him the cup. She blushed. This apparently had sent the Doctor over the edge.

"So, Fineaus," he said, dancing around the console, "Where do you want to go? Earth? Clum? Some distant star? Your home world?"

"Um, no actually I was hoping to go to…" Fineaus said, but was cut off by a great shout of, "AH YES! I'VE GOT IT!"

The Doctor flipped a switch, pulled a lever, and turned quite a few knobs. Nothing happened. Then he smacked a button, and off they went, lurching through space.

When they arrived, the Doctor ran around to Fineaus, gave him his bag, took his cup of tea, and his arm to shove him out the door. Rose ran after him, and he whispered something in her ear, which, of course, drove the Doctor crazy.

Once Fineaus was out the door, they heard a shrill, long scream that was soon covered up by the sound of the TARDIS departing.

"Doctor, where did you send him!" Rose yelled while the TARDIS went back into the vortex.

"To where I thought he would want to go! This darling little planet called Blossomalumis!"

"Since when do you say darling!"

"What?"

"Nevermind! What happens there?"

"Well," the Doctor shouted, "It's filled with beautiful women! I thought he would enjoy it!"

The TARDIS landed, and gave the Doctor a large shock up his arm.

"Ow! What was that for!" He yelled.

"Doctor," Rose said, obviously annoyed, "did you ever ask why Fineaus was exiled?"

"Of course I… no. I didn't."

Rose gave him a patented Tyler slap across the face. "YOU IMBECILE!"

"What did I do now!"

And, at the very same moment, both the TARDIS and Rose shouted at him,

"HE WAS GAY!"

Oh dear.


End file.
